bizefingers

Everybody knows one. She is that one person who is relatively nice until she isn't, then she goes into full bitch mode and has absolutely no problem telling people off or putting someone in their place (whether deserved or undeserved).

She has had a bad day and then something happens and it flips her switch and woe to the one person who is in her sights. Cursing and cutting remarks fly leaving those around her bewildered, including the victim of her diatribe. We flinch when we see her outbursts and say a silent prayer of thanksgiving that we dodged her bullet this time. We walk away stunned, questioning what we did to deserve her scathing rage when we are not so fortunate to be overlooked.

But what amazes me the most is that she can retain employment, friends, etc. How is it that some people can seem to get away with this outrageous behavior?

Honestly, how does someone become this out-of-control? Are they the 3-year old toddler in the grocery story that succesfully screams her way into receiving a candy bar? How does someone make it through Kindergarden without learning the Golden Rule? Or is this behavior an indication of how she wants other to treat her? Should we be matching Bitch for Bitch when we are confronted with this kind of behavior?

The problem with going into full Bitch mode for most people is that it doesn't come naturally, thus the deer-in-the-headlights responses, or rather, lack of responses. This seeming lack of response may only further passively condone the Bitch behavior.

I do admire the Bitch for standing up for her boundaries when the situation calls for it. But I have seen other women who have equally stood their ground and defended their boundaries without resorting to such rude behavior. Unfortunately, these women have also received deragatory labels.

In a society that validates "polite" women, women who do not rock the boat, will we ever find a happy medium ground where women can defend their boundaries?
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I'm back after a very long hiatus. I needed to just stop for a while. I didn't feel like I had anything to say. Maybe I still don't have anything to say but the motivation to write has returned. That well was dry for a very long time after some very discouraging events and some other challenges.

Having a public blog raises questions and concerns. I like the ability to write in this format but I am also aware of how the information published here can be used by people with less than honorable intentions. I most recently learned of the loss of one of my favorite blogs because one person was using the content to harass another person.

The debate to be a public blog has been on-going for me. Who do I trust? Ultimately I cannot control who reads this blog but I can control what I write here. I am well aware of how people can distort what is said to fit their own agenda and that has always made me censor my posts, which, unfortunately forces me to contradict my favorite quote under the banner of this blog.
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I prefer the Puffs Plus but then again I am a conventional tissue user. (Enough said)

Hockey Dog on the other hand...

I don't think she cares what brand she is eating!

Other items on her preferred list:
Deer poop
Legos
Nerf darts
Pillow stuffing
Cupcake papers
chocolate (I know, it's bad for her. You tell her!)
shoes (she doesn't really eat these, mostly just tastes them)
Plastic ice-cream buckets
cardboard boxes (especially pizza boxes)

I don't know how she can be so healthy.
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I find it easier to tell the truth than to keep track of lies.

I really don't know how people do it. I have several friends that tell little lies daily just to get by. I've noticed that their lives are very stress-filled. I am baffled about the lies that they tell. They don't really need to lie but they do because they think the person they are talking to will not react well to the truth. Like lying about why they were late for work. Or lying about why they can't go out with other friends.

I am frustrated because I made an honest typo mistake on a schedule and the person I sent it to thinks I did it on purpose to deceive. I think that people who are habitual liars tend to think that everybody operates with the same regard to the truth that they do and because they lie they think others around them do too.

How do you prove what you say is the truth when someone deliberately distorts everything you say and turns it into a lie?

I can only keep telling the truth.
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Does anybody ever apologize any more?
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No White Christmas!

Outrageous. How can it be possible in northern Minnesota but if we don't get some snow falling in the next 6 days we are going to be looking at a Semi-White Christmas.

We have been experiencing unseasonably warm temperatures this fall. Usually by this time of year we have a good solid base of snow that will not melt until late March or early April. However, the skiff of fluff we do have is not stable. One day we are below freezing and two days later we are hovering in the mid-40s. Several days back we had sub-zero temperatures (-17F) only to have the thermometer do an about face and climb to 49F above. We lost all of our snow.
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It has been a long time since my last post and I'm not sure of what to say.

I am a little rusty so my theory is to get a post out there and prime the creative pump.

My kids have been bringing home a lot of information on bullying. The schools seem to be really cracking down on what a bully does and how to respond to a situation in which you are being bullied.

What I find so interesting is not how a bully is defined;
This person can be either male or female. (Yeah, finally there is recognition that girls can bully too).
They tend to have a strong need to dominate others through threats and power.
They will intimidate others
They cheat
They are hot-tempered and easily angered. Additionally, they are impulsive and have a low-frustration level.
and most telling...
They don't conform to the rules.

They will use obvious intimidating actions like hitting and kicking. But less recognized forms of bullying include name-calling, spreading rumors, and destroying someone's reputation.

We all know people who fit these characteristics. If asked to list 5 character traits of a bully I'm sure we could all come up with a similar list. However, what I find interesting is the next level of bullying that nobody has really thought of until now. This was actually a part of the literature that my 5th grader brought home; the by-stander bully.

This is someone who stands by and watches bullying happening and does nothing to stop it. When we watch bullying and do nothing we are actually condoning the bully's behavior.

The damaging results to the victim's self-esteem of the by-stander are far more devestating. The victim of malicious treatment that goes unchallenged gets these three messages;

That the bully has a right to hurt you.
That you are not worth protecting.
And...
That it's okay to watch other people getting hurt.

I had never really thought of a bystander as being guilty of hurting other people but this message does make sense.
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